kendall's 2009 FAVES!:::
first up, and most controversal (at least between el and i: exciting!!), is amy adams. el hates this dress but i think its Fabulous --and i even gave it a capital F-- i love the dress but more so i love the dress paired with the bold, colorful (but mainly turquoise) necklace. she looks like a saucy cleopatra. 
you know how i love sequins, so i had to put miss anne hathaway on my faves list. the dress is stunning and eye-catching against her darker coloring. i love that this number is classy and sexy without being over-the-top poofy like an enormous, crazy wedding dress (see p. cruz, at the bottom). the PERFECT oscar dress, i'd say. well done. 
there is nothing better than the tried but true sexy black dress, diane lane. it hugs in all the right places. an honorable mention goes to angelina jolie, who paired her LBD with green earrings (see el's post). 
el and i tried to pick different do's and don't's for this post, but we both just had to mention evan rachel wood. evan rachel, i heard you are dating mickey rourke, which is confusing and kind of gross, but you couldn't look more sensible and fashionable right now in this greek goddessesque cream-colored number. just when america thinks you're all innocent, you slap on the naughty black nail polish to remind us that not only are you dating mickey rourke, who played your father in the wrestler, but you also once dated marilyn mansion. i'm beyond impressed. 
guilina rancic has the right idea with the jewel-toned burgundy that goes so well with her complexion, the one-shoulder thing that i love and el hates, and the sexy sweetheart neckline. so precious. 
gray dresses can be hit or miss (ahem, kate winslet) but this is a fabulous gray that maria menousnous is sporting. i am loving the sheer, curve-hugging bodice with the full, flowy skirt. very unique and fabulous. 
this is another double both el and i just had to post. marisa tomei, could you look any more amazing? she is 45 years old, people, 45!! i used to be scared of getting older, but now i am not. marisa tomei's fabulousness have given me supreme hope.
SJP, one of my all-time favorite fashion icons, made me appreciate the poofy fairy dress this year with her modern belt and casual flowing hair additions. also, she wanders the red carpet apparently unafraid that her boobs will pop out, which is the most impressive part. well done!
so...i love tilda swinton, but we have here a classic example of dressing for you body type and coloring being a huge factor... taupes are great, but on her pale complexion i think it washes her out in a big way, and that bright orangey-red lipstick and slicked-back hair doesn't help. also this super skinny skirt and loose, flowing top doesn't look so great on her tall, lean figure. better luck next year tilda.
amanda seyfried is just so precious you have to love her, but i do not love her in this dress. what's going on with this draping at the bottom? had the dress been long and flowing, it may have merely made it to my "on the fence" category, but this weird hem makes her look like a tiny little person (what's the correct term?).
bridgit fonda, some people tell me i look like you, and right now i'm kind of hoping its not true. everything about this outfit is a throwback to the early 90's, which is a time that's not exactly in again yet...sorry.. the shapeless dress, the shiny fabric, the sash (worst part!!!) and the chunky gold necklace?? ugh. wait... i just noticed the tiny purse!! what is going on?! is this photo from the archives of oscars past?
on anybody else: maybe. but on heidi klum? the model? she is just wasting the gloriousness that is her perfect figure by throwing this hideous, neon thing on top of it.
ON THE FENCE.......................
penelope cruz, i love you and you always look amazing, but big poofy white dresses look a little too much like wedding dresses for my tastes.
what is the appeal in this weird, satiny, shapeless, china-doll look? lose the ugly oversized bow, j. biel, and it might be okay.
kate winslet, i love you sooo much that i really really wanted you to end up in the best of category, but i just cant get down this this bland, gray metallic dress. i usually am a fan of gray, but this somehow is about the most boring color you could pick for an oscar dress. it does nothing for you.
people have been giving Beyonce a lot of shit about this dress, but what is really so bad about it? yes, she looks a little like she needed some baby oil to squeeze into it, but i think the black and gold is keepin it pretty classy. when i think back to some of the crazy shit she's worn, i kinda like it.. but i am on the fence about the mermaid thing.
i would have LOVED this dress when i was about nine. but i'm all grown up, and a little confused about it.ONWARD AND UPWARD!!! ELINOR'S PICKS........
(el also added a special category: hot men of the oscars)
(el also added a special category: hot men of the oscars)
elinor's FAVES!:::
why not start with angie jo? hottest of the hot. i think her brilliant emerald earrings really made the outfit pop and i love the sheer overlay showing a bit of leg. sexy and elegant. well played, angie, you've come a long way from that girl, interrupted outfit (shutter). this outfit also showcases one of my favorite trends of the night, the sweetheart neckline. splendid example.
viola davis was totally stunning in this gown. god, who on earth can pull off that color? it made her skin look delicious. the draping was beautiful and stood out among the nights creams and topes. i liked the funk of the color with the classic cut of the dress.
though i think evan rachel wood (despite being really talented, but that's not what this blog is about) usually looks like a bad dita von tesse knock off...tonight she really pulled off something unique. the neck is to die for, i love the little black nails reminding us that it is 2009, because with the milky skin and art deco gown ERW could be strait from a 1930 movie premiere. and vintage looks on the red carpet always score high points with me.
natalie portman and alycia keys are my two pretty ladies in lilac of the night. what an awesome color, first of all and i like that they are showcased on two totally different figures and skin tones and it still looks rad. i hope lilac sticks around. natalie is as per usual cute as a stinkin' button and alycia is sexy and glam in a way beyonce could never touch in 1,000 years (addressed later)
oh darling, p. cruz. it's like the sweetheart neckline was made for you. i don't know how you went from vicky christina barcelona super siren sex pot hotness to looking like the debutante that everyone envies at the ball, but good job.
dear marisa tomei,
in your incredible gown with detailing that makes me want to cry, worn confidently with beautiful hair and emphasising your spun sugar like delicacy means you are the ONLY PERSON who escapes my fashion gavel of doom when it comes to my most hated trend, the single shoulder sling.
congrats,
el
save the best for last...
anne hathaway, holy moly! she could not have looked more beautiful, everything from the hair to the beading on the gown are just perfect for her face and frame.
NON-FAVES!!
reece witherspoon. damn, girl. what happened to you? you were all sexy post ryan hotness and then....blue black patchy plaid with some weird shoulder drapery? i don't like this dress because if it makes a hollywood lady who is paid to be sexy look frumpy and figureless, it ain't gonna work for the average gal.
vanessa hudgens, one of the many, many casualties of mermaid dress. this disease had a horrible outbreak among hollywood this award season, is there no cure? and ps, what the fuck is growing off your chest?
yes, she's 40 and a naked GQ cover girl. does that mean she can wear a clingy dress with lines going in 1,000 directions and have it not look weird and unflattering? no, no it doesn't. sorry jen aniston.
i don't want to say anything bad about melissa leo being that she is so new on scene and got an oscar nod for a movie no one even heard of...but she's made that impossible. what would possess you to wear a dress that's the same color as your hair, one. and two, did no stylist talk to her, none? not a single stylist? the length, draping and neckline on that dress would give a 1950's vintage thrift store pause. they'd be like "this dress is really wrinkled and shapeless...i'll give you $5."
beyonce. why did you do it, beyonce?
kate winslet. this is hard for me because i love katie w. and want to support everything she does, i even watched the holiday. yeah, you heard me, the holiday. and it's weird because every best dressed list i look at she's on there and i'm like "does no one see what i see????". it's the dreaded, hated shoulder strap of doom. what is that? it makes her look like her dress has been critically wounded on the battlefield and patched up for quick repair. also, i hate her hair. i think if it weren't for the shoulder strap i could over look the hair and weird lace and just ignore this dress but all together...trainwreck.
i like amy adams, she's so beautiful. she's the true return to the hollywood red head that lindsay lohan failed to nail. so, i like amy adams. and i also like comic books. but that doesn't mean i want to see amy adams going to the oscars as spiderman.
virginia madsen. i don't know, i'm not crazy about the red on the red carpet and also doesn't this dress look like it would be in like a showtime movie about someone who went to the oscars? like "what's a cheap dress we can slap on this actress for this next oscar scene? can someone run to jessica mclintock and grab something in a primary color please?"
i want to make some kind of "you're either in or your out" project runway joke. but heidi klum, there is nothing funny about this dress. it makes me wonder if she kept an orphan project runway kid from a past season slaving away making shitty gowns in her basement, thinking they're unique and failing miserably.
worst for last!
jessica biel, a fellow colorado girl. sorry, sister. you look like you're wearing a table cloth with your hair thrown back in a quick half pony tail. is that dress easy to transform into a snow suit? you going to hit the slopes later? did anyone tell you that look wasn't going to make it outside of veil? where's justin? where o where is justin? is he mad at you? why didn't he help you?
ON THE FENCE......
yes, it's a mermaid gown. but it's a little more subtle and it's halle berry. i don't know. i'm confused.
i really like this combo, but i understand why other people hate it. i think tilda swinton can take huge fashion risks and i applaud her for her, but is it the prettiest thing i've ever seen? no. and i think for the oscars we expect pretty.
this dress has one sleeve and a shoulder strap, so by my own rules i should hate it. but like halle berry, i think freida pinto is super georgous, so i'm confused about what looks good and what doesn't. i also am a sucker for blue. this oscar was so white and nutral, i was happy when i saw punchy, brave colors. i also thought it was very nuvo bollywood.
sjp. it's a little boring, it's not un-pretty. i couldn't quite ignore it nor could i hate it. something was amiss with the boobs and it's a shade too prom...but it's also very prima ballerina and i can't decide if the ballerina shit is sjp's staple and i love her for it or if i'm sick of looking at it.
miley cyrus is catching a lot of shit for this dress. but how old is she, 16? if you were 16 and going to the oscars and probably didn't have a lot of normal things in your future like senior prom, you might pick this dress. it's very, very girly princess dress but i'm ok with that. not crazy about, but ok with.
amada seyfried is just such a doll...seriously, look at her, she is a living doll! i love her to bits and think the orangish hints of this dress were very pretty and love the big bow and hollywood hair, she's like a pin-up girl. but then there's something about the cut that's not quite making it happen. i can't decide. maybe i just watch too much veronica mars.
THE HOT MEN OF THE OSCARS
mickey rourke's sloppy cool white jeans with old timey black vest combo looked casual but still respectful of the event. he stayed really true to himself and looked handsome and fun. where was his date? he could have taken me!
i have no idea who john legend is. who is he? well, i do know he is a man who wears bomb ass chocolate colored 1960's throw back suits with tie tacks. HOT STUFF. also the "peach" on his arm speaks pretty well of him.
sean penn looking very elegant for his oscar win (and you never know with sean penn homo loving commie that he is) with some equally elegant arm candy in black (giving the angie/brad combo a decent run for their money, i think)
josh brolin just looked like the hot cowboy all scrubbed up. and i am always a fan of that. and can i pretty please just age like diane lane? please?
we hope you enjoyed our ruthless jugementalness as much as we did! see you next week!
cheers,
k and el
at least we both agree about the mermaid dress and evan rachel wood. she's dating mickey rourke? what happened to MM? i'll talk to you in real life about this soon.
ReplyDeleteHeh, I'm surprised there's only one comment to this post (and from one of the authors, no less). This is the kind of thing that could start a seriously hilarious flame war, and I hope it does at some point because they're tremendously entertaining (and good for traffic, too!).
ReplyDeleteI have many comments, but I just want to say one thing. I hate bright red lipstick. There is only one person that ever had the right to wear it, and his name was Bozo. Ann Hathaway is so gorgeous I would probably just yelp and run away if I ever came face to face with her, but she's the worst offender in this category (but I'll still marry you, Anne).
Okay, correction: I want to say two things. The second thing is this:
Amanda Seyfried = Giant folded Napkin in Hotel Restaurant,
but yes, she's adorable. Still not an excuse, though.